how exactly does one padlock a mouth? A question for our director...
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
heilige tugend 2
Cold has descended on us. Leaves are blowing. We had a ladies' night.
We sang the 3 ladies of The Magic Flute, most of their choruses from both acts. I wreaked a little havoc by not remembering if I was Lady 1, 2 or 3.
Tonight we learned again that women are full of idle chatter, and that men's virtue lies in being firm and steady: not listening to women, and not speaking much themselves.
It must be silent in that temple.
We sang the 3 ladies of The Magic Flute, most of their choruses from both acts. I wreaked a little havoc by not remembering if I was Lady 1, 2 or 3.
Tonight we learned again that women are full of idle chatter, and that men's virtue lies in being firm and steady: not listening to women, and not speaking much themselves.
It must be silent in that temple.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
fasten your seat belts
Good evening, mayhem fans!
Yes, it's true, last week I took a hiatus. You see, the world was doing such a good job of creating its own mayhem, I felt I needed to give the task over completely, and take the night off. There were blustery winds. The market was suddenly cancelled. Trees rustled ominously. I hunkered down.
But tonight I was back at it, along with the rest of the cast.
We rehearsed all the choruses. Sometimes we were a trio of ladies. Sometimes a trio of spirits. Sometimes a choir of priests. And sometimes, just sometimes, a voice from within.
The priests of course had important things to say. Namely: don't trust women. Don't trust women! That seems to be the bulk of their wisdom. Women are, of course, completely untrustworthy. It's a little hard to take, so we have plans, in our rendition, to make our women a little more feisty.
Once this wisdom is gained, and women have been resisted, we sang, earth becomes a paradise...earth becomes a paradise...earth becomes...
Yes, it's true, last week I took a hiatus. You see, the world was doing such a good job of creating its own mayhem, I felt I needed to give the task over completely, and take the night off. There were blustery winds. The market was suddenly cancelled. Trees rustled ominously. I hunkered down.
But tonight I was back at it, along with the rest of the cast.
We rehearsed all the choruses. Sometimes we were a trio of ladies. Sometimes a trio of spirits. Sometimes a choir of priests. And sometimes, just sometimes, a voice from within.
The priests of course had important things to say. Namely: don't trust women. Don't trust women! That seems to be the bulk of their wisdom. Women are, of course, completely untrustworthy. It's a little hard to take, so we have plans, in our rendition, to make our women a little more feisty.
Once this wisdom is gained, and women have been resisted, we sang, earth becomes a paradise...earth becomes a paradise...earth becomes...
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
wings and feathers good, arms and legs bad
We are rounding up a real cast for the Magic Flute. Each week new people come! And along with them: new possibilities!
Our Doyenne of Song was taking advantage of this by having us sing in small ensembles, searching for possible lasting combinations. One of them she wanted to try out was the duet between Papagena and Papageno.
"Remember, she is your dream fulfilled."
Our small Papageno took a look at our exuberant Papagena, dripping, sopping still, having come straight from swim practice, and scrunched his face up. She beamed.
Some of us were a little timid about singing alone in front of the big group. (What, ME?!? Heavens no. Me, afraid of some of Pamina's high notes? OK, maybe...) Our leader gave us a pep talk, short and sweet, and possibly just slightly Orwellian:
NO FEAR, HERE
ONLY CHEER
The real treat of the evening came right at the end: the men, singing the Spirits' trio. Men, take note! There's just nothing like your voices, in harmony. They had us all swooning.
So, without further ado I will let you know that tonight was brought to you by the rhyme
-ear...
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
papageno
"He's a man, but he's been hanging around birds so long, he looks like a bird."
"So he's like a crazy cat lady, but with birds?"
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
heilige tugend
My, my, my, my, my.
I may have promised more than I can deliver!
In these sacred halls, tonight, there was no revenge - also no talking out of turn, pursuing of tangents, cracking of jokes, squabbling, or mayhem of any kind!
One hardly recognized us.
"Don't worry," our First Lady of Song assured me afterwards. "It's only the first class. They'll be misbehaving in no time."
In the meantime, tonight we accomplished an amazing feat: a Whirlwind Tour through the entire Magic Flute, with all the major arias and duets touched on, and pretty much all of the dialogue read.
We were treated to both of the Queen of the Night's arias, sung in full splendor by our uncontested Queen. We had a couple of different wonderful Papagenos. We are already envisioning him being covered in peacock feathers (donations of feathers, etc. are more than welcome).
And: we have a bass!
Friends, we are flush. Let's enjoy this moment.
I may have promised more than I can deliver!
In these sacred halls, tonight, there was no revenge - also no talking out of turn, pursuing of tangents, cracking of jokes, squabbling, or mayhem of any kind!
One hardly recognized us.
"Don't worry," our First Lady of Song assured me afterwards. "It's only the first class. They'll be misbehaving in no time."
In the meantime, tonight we accomplished an amazing feat: a Whirlwind Tour through the entire Magic Flute, with all the major arias and duets touched on, and pretty much all of the dialogue read.
We were treated to both of the Queen of the Night's arias, sung in full splendor by our uncontested Queen. We had a couple of different wonderful Papagenos. We are already envisioning him being covered in peacock feathers (donations of feathers, etc. are more than welcome).
And: we have a bass!
Friends, we are flush. Let's enjoy this moment.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
* charade *
Good morning, friends!
It's a beautifully blustery one.
Why am I posting on a Thursday instead of a Wednesday? Because last night I was out having the perhaps once-in-a-lifetime treat of seeing one of my favorite movies on the big screen.
But next week the mayhem starts up again!
You will once again get to hear about Opera Scenes.
Better than any movie, this acting, singing, dancing class has got it all:
- mystery
- intrigue
- conflict
- comedy (lots and lots of comedy)
- witty dialogue
- lovable characters
- happy endings
So come on along for the ride. Because, mesdames et messieurs, ici, l'attraction, c'est nous!
It's a beautifully blustery one.
Why am I posting on a Thursday instead of a Wednesday? Because last night I was out having the perhaps once-in-a-lifetime treat of seeing one of my favorite movies on the big screen.
But next week the mayhem starts up again!
You will once again get to hear about Opera Scenes.
Better than any movie, this acting, singing, dancing class has got it all:
- mystery
- intrigue
- conflict
- comedy (lots and lots of comedy)
- witty dialogue
- lovable characters
- happy endings
So come on along for the ride. Because, mesdames et messieurs, ici, l'attraction, c'est nous!
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
it's not over till...
There are easy days, and there are tough days.
Sometimes it's not clear why a day is one or the other.
It's not like people weren't perfectly nice to me, some even smiled when they saw me, some did me favors and said nice things to me.
And yet I was annoyed by the smallest things today. A man who kept yelling at me as I walked down the street. "Miss! Miss!" Persistent, rude.
A woman who tried to get me to do something, join her cause, a perfectly good cause, but one I did not at that moment want to join, and said something tactless, to which I answered something tactless back.
A disappearing bike lane.
Wegmans being out of Ben & Jerry's vanilla ice cream. And just out-and-out not carrying matches, the small ones anyway.
Is everyone in the world lighting their candles with lighters?
And then there were the small wonderful things. A friend's silly accent making me laugh. A kind voice on the phone in the middle of the day. Being reunited with my instrument after having it in the shop. Singing.
Sometimes it's not clear why a day is one or the other.
It's not like people weren't perfectly nice to me, some even smiled when they saw me, some did me favors and said nice things to me.
And yet I was annoyed by the smallest things today. A man who kept yelling at me as I walked down the street. "Miss! Miss!" Persistent, rude.
A woman who tried to get me to do something, join her cause, a perfectly good cause, but one I did not at that moment want to join, and said something tactless, to which I answered something tactless back.
A disappearing bike lane.
Wegmans being out of Ben & Jerry's vanilla ice cream. And just out-and-out not carrying matches, the small ones anyway.
Is everyone in the world lighting their candles with lighters?
And then there were the small wonderful things. A friend's silly accent making me laugh. A kind voice on the phone in the middle of the day. Being reunited with my instrument after having it in the shop. Singing.
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
pinecones 2/we are here to help each other out 2
The pinecone game was back this week. My student strode right in and took them off the shelf and lined them up. Then she laid out the green ribbon. The game was to kick a pinecone across the green ribbon each time she did a fancy bowing. The fancy bowing happens six times in the song, so there are six pinecones.
She was still having some trouble remembering which part was which. Sometimes I'd give her a prompt, like "it's like the beginning again, but with a different ending". We got through it, and we were just sitting there assessing for a moment when she said, "We should tape a piece of paper to each pinecone, and write on it 'Beginning, 1st ending,' and stuff."
"Brilliant!" I said. "I'll get paper, you get tape."
We set to work. Soon each pinecone was labelled (have you ever tried to tape a piece of paper to a pinecone? Not as simple as it sounds). "PINECONE 1. Beginning with first ending," etc etc. We decided we probably shouldn't kick them, or the papers would fall off. "I can make a piece of paper that says "DONE!" and then as I play them you can take each pinecone and put it on the piece of paper," my student said. "Good idea," I said.
That was soon made, and we played through it again, this time with no prompts.
"You can use these with your other students to help them too," she said.
"Good idea," I said.
She was still having some trouble remembering which part was which. Sometimes I'd give her a prompt, like "it's like the beginning again, but with a different ending". We got through it, and we were just sitting there assessing for a moment when she said, "We should tape a piece of paper to each pinecone, and write on it 'Beginning, 1st ending,' and stuff."
"Brilliant!" I said. "I'll get paper, you get tape."
We set to work. Soon each pinecone was labelled (have you ever tried to tape a piece of paper to a pinecone? Not as simple as it sounds). "PINECONE 1. Beginning with first ending," etc etc. We decided we probably shouldn't kick them, or the papers would fall off. "I can make a piece of paper that says "DONE!" and then as I play them you can take each pinecone and put it on the piece of paper," my student said. "Good idea," I said.
That was soon made, and we played through it again, this time with no prompts.
"You can use these with your other students to help them too," she said.
"Good idea," I said.
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
waiting
Good evening!
Where oh where, world, is my promised rainstorm?
You promised rain this morning, you promised rain at noon
But evening came and still no monsoon
Hither and thither I came, and whither I went
No boots did I need, nor jacket, nor tent
Not for miles, not for feet, meters or yards
All was as dry as the best mustards.
Oh when will it rain? When will it pour?
I'd better go out, walking, and tempt it some more...
Where oh where, world, is my promised rainstorm?
You promised rain this morning, you promised rain at noon
But evening came and still no monsoon
Hither and thither I came, and whither I went
No boots did I need, nor jacket, nor tent
Not for miles, not for feet, meters or yards
All was as dry as the best mustards.
Oh when will it rain? When will it pour?
I'd better go out, walking, and tempt it some more...
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
of pinecones and play
Today a student of mine and I were playing the pinecone game. I say "the pinecone game" but really that's not a helpful designation, because at any moment anything at all could become the pinecone game, and it could never be the same twice. It happened because we had been playing the bead game last week, but then I went and took home the beads (they were, it must be said, tiny, and in great danger of being lost). And there the pinecones were.
There they always are, because I pick them up on the way to work. I try to pass them by; sometimes I succeed. But invariably, after a few weeks of this, walking by and ignoring them, or telling them yes, I see you, yes you are beautiful but I have so many of you already!…I pick another one up and it's just so beautiful I have to take it with me.
So there is a pile of pinecones in my studio. Which is a good thing, because it means we can always play the pinecone game!
Anyway my student asked me, as we put them away, "do you ever wash your pinecones?"
"No, I've never even thought of washing them. Are they dirty?"
"Well if you haven't washed them, they must be dirty."
Can one wash pinecones? Should one wash pinecones?
There they always are, because I pick them up on the way to work. I try to pass them by; sometimes I succeed. But invariably, after a few weeks of this, walking by and ignoring them, or telling them yes, I see you, yes you are beautiful but I have so many of you already!…I pick another one up and it's just so beautiful I have to take it with me.
So there is a pile of pinecones in my studio. Which is a good thing, because it means we can always play the pinecone game!
Anyway my student asked me, as we put them away, "do you ever wash your pinecones?"
"No, I've never even thought of washing them. Are they dirty?"
"Well if you haven't washed them, they must be dirty."
Can one wash pinecones? Should one wash pinecones?
Well, the pinecone game was fun. That and the fact that the world threw a microwave in my path right when I needed one, and that I got to sit in (stand in, really) on a few songs with some guitar-playing dudes at the market today ("What have you got in there?" "A viola." "Want to play? Open that case up, get it out!")…all these things, and more, make me a happy blogger tonight.
So open that case up, whatever it is, get it out, and play!
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
band camp
Today, today was a big day.
Today, I made up a song for one of my students. I helped another one write down a song he was making up on his violin. I helped another one begin a piece by Bach which she has always loved.
I went to lunch with two friends.
I walked to work, and back; I walked all the way down Park Avenue, and back.
I saw a few fireflies, some dusky clouds, and lights in people's windows.
I met a baby goat named Justina. I had just enough money in my wallet to buy what I needed at the market.
And I started a bandcamp page.
I am happy.
Today, I made up a song for one of my students. I helped another one write down a song he was making up on his violin. I helped another one begin a piece by Bach which she has always loved.
I went to lunch with two friends.
I walked to work, and back; I walked all the way down Park Avenue, and back.
I saw a few fireflies, some dusky clouds, and lights in people's windows.
I met a baby goat named Justina. I had just enough money in my wallet to buy what I needed at the market.
And I started a bandcamp page.
I am happy.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
a night in july
Now, with all this free time on Wednesday evenings, I can dedicate myself wholly to one of my favorite things:
walking.
It is a nice cool breezy night, a relief after the hot and humid days we've been having.
Strolling past lantern-lit porches and sidewalk tables, listening to the wind in the trees, making sure not to trip on rough bits of sidewalk (I insisted on wearing flip-flops, ones that are peeling at the bottom and get caught on things), I had time to ponder the imponderables:
Where are fireflies on cold, non-summer nights?
When will I sing next, and where?
Why do I hate one movie, and love another? (Especially when I can see how the making of one necessitates the making of the other…)
What's next?
Who knows. But it is a lovely mid-summer night, and I for one needed this lull.
Wishing you all peace and goodwill, wherever this may find you,
Margaret
walking.
It is a nice cool breezy night, a relief after the hot and humid days we've been having.
Strolling past lantern-lit porches and sidewalk tables, listening to the wind in the trees, making sure not to trip on rough bits of sidewalk (I insisted on wearing flip-flops, ones that are peeling at the bottom and get caught on things), I had time to ponder the imponderables:
Where are fireflies on cold, non-summer nights?
When will I sing next, and where?
Why do I hate one movie, and love another? (Especially when I can see how the making of one necessitates the making of the other…)
What's next?
Who knows. But it is a lovely mid-summer night, and I for one needed this lull.
Wishing you all peace and goodwill, wherever this may find you,
Margaret
Thursday, July 17, 2014
from the brandywine to the genesee
I missed a Wednesday again! But with good reason this time, for I was ON THE ROAD.
And wouldn't you know it, mayhem was there too!
I have a message for everyone out there on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, Northeast Extension, etc etc: let's all SLOW THE HECK DOWN!
I mean, WHAT is the HURRY? And as long as we are all packed in tighter than sardines in work zones on those narrow little lanes between cement barriers, why go 70? Why not follow the advice of those good traffic signs and slow down to 45?
All right, enough.
I have seen the waters of Skaneateles. I have seen the mountains of the Poconos. I have seen the dells of the Brandywine. It sometimes gets a bad rap, but the state of Delaware was looking pretty beautiful today, with its rolling hills and forests and little creeks.
I returned with a new plant, and a cape. Because every hero should have a cape. Actually, it's not really a superhero kind of cape, it's more of an old-lady kind of cape, but, as my two aunts said to me, it's all in how you wear it. I'm planning some kind of Grace Kelly-Audrey Hepburn sortie. Perhaps I will wear it only on late-night walks, when only the wild bunnies can see me, but I'll wear it, I guarantee...
And wouldn't you know it, mayhem was there too!
I have a message for everyone out there on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, Northeast Extension, etc etc: let's all SLOW THE HECK DOWN!
I mean, WHAT is the HURRY? And as long as we are all packed in tighter than sardines in work zones on those narrow little lanes between cement barriers, why go 70? Why not follow the advice of those good traffic signs and slow down to 45?
All right, enough.
I have seen the waters of Skaneateles. I have seen the mountains of the Poconos. I have seen the dells of the Brandywine. It sometimes gets a bad rap, but the state of Delaware was looking pretty beautiful today, with its rolling hills and forests and little creeks.
I returned with a new plant, and a cape. Because every hero should have a cape. Actually, it's not really a superhero kind of cape, it's more of an old-lady kind of cape, but, as my two aunts said to me, it's all in how you wear it. I'm planning some kind of Grace Kelly-Audrey Hepburn sortie. Perhaps I will wear it only on late-night walks, when only the wild bunnies can see me, but I'll wear it, I guarantee...
Thursday, July 10, 2014
we are here to help each other out
Friends, I like continuity as much as the next person (ok, maybe more), so I was loving the fact that I had managed to post every Wednesday for the last few months. But yesterday… yesterday I tried to make myself post, I really did. I kept myself up, meanwhile slumping down more and more into the couch, until I was practically horizontal, and had to admit to myself that I was not going to post, that it was time to GO. TO. BED.
And so there was no Wednesday post. I awoke this morning to the garbage trucks roaring down the street and knew that it was no longer Wednesday, it was most definitely Thursday, and there was no going back.
But does this mean that the posts have to stop? Does one just throw in the towel because of one break in continuity? No, friends, one does not. Because: THE SHOW MUST GO ON.
The truth is, the mayhem yesterday was a bit much for me. There will be a time at which 6 young ones will realize that Mendelssohn's Nocturne from A Midsummer Night's Dream is one of the most beautiful things you could ever listen to or play, but sadly that time is not now. No, right now I think they are ready to throw it out the window. And perhaps me.
But there have been moments of beauty! And wonder! One of our students is very good at drawing, and as she sat, making "coloring pages" for all the other kids (pencil drawings to color in with crayons, paints, etc), one of them said, "How can you DRAW SO GOOD??" I think a certain strain of envy running through the class right then was expressed in that question, and it felt like it needed to be expressed. What did our student do? She took another sheet of paper and started to explain. "Well, you draw the head, and then the shoulders, and then here's one arm, and it bends like this, and the other one, you can't see it, you just see the hand, like this…" and the entire class was rapt.
It's moments like these.
And so there was no Wednesday post. I awoke this morning to the garbage trucks roaring down the street and knew that it was no longer Wednesday, it was most definitely Thursday, and there was no going back.
But does this mean that the posts have to stop? Does one just throw in the towel because of one break in continuity? No, friends, one does not. Because: THE SHOW MUST GO ON.
The truth is, the mayhem yesterday was a bit much for me. There will be a time at which 6 young ones will realize that Mendelssohn's Nocturne from A Midsummer Night's Dream is one of the most beautiful things you could ever listen to or play, but sadly that time is not now. No, right now I think they are ready to throw it out the window. And perhaps me.
But there have been moments of beauty! And wonder! One of our students is very good at drawing, and as she sat, making "coloring pages" for all the other kids (pencil drawings to color in with crayons, paints, etc), one of them said, "How can you DRAW SO GOOD??" I think a certain strain of envy running through the class right then was expressed in that question, and it felt like it needed to be expressed. What did our student do? She took another sheet of paper and started to explain. "Well, you draw the head, and then the shoulders, and then here's one arm, and it bends like this, and the other one, you can't see it, you just see the hand, like this…" and the entire class was rapt.
It's moments like these.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
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Wednesday, June 25, 2014
la mayhème
It's Wednesday night. The farmer's market at the end of the street moved in, and moved back out…the library stayed open late…people are putting out their trash cans…everything is normal…except…
Where is the mayhem?
After our triumphant performance on Saturday, we are done for the year. So here I am on a Wednesday night, all by myself…
OK, not completely.
In fact, I was back at the school again, immersed in mayhem, this time of the French kind. We were putting together a string quartet.
"@!* what a bastard!"
"Who?"
"Ravel of course!"
Ah yes. The eternal struggle between composer and performer… but he is dead, and we are on stage, so I guess you could say we have the upper hand in this one. Tomorrow night. 7 pm. We hope to stir you, inspire you, move you…
We'd love to have you. Clap on any beat you want.
Where is the mayhem?
After our triumphant performance on Saturday, we are done for the year. So here I am on a Wednesday night, all by myself…
OK, not completely.
In fact, I was back at the school again, immersed in mayhem, this time of the French kind. We were putting together a string quartet.
"@!* what a bastard!"
"Who?"
"Ravel of course!"
Ah yes. The eternal struggle between composer and performer… but he is dead, and we are on stage, so I guess you could say we have the upper hand in this one. Tomorrow night. 7 pm. We hope to stir you, inspire you, move you…
We'd love to have you. Clap on any beat you want.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
we have lift-off!
Friends, I have been living in a delusion. I thought I wrote this every week in a vacuum, in a sort of blissfully alternate, satellite blogoverse, and no one ever read it, so I could say and write and draw anything I wanted and no one would be the wiser…NOT SO!
Friends, I HAVE A READER!
Our Choreographer strode into class this evening, kicked off her flip-flops, and announced that she was ready to re-teach us the dance.
"Because clearly you forgot all of it."
"!"
"?"
"We did not!"
"Yes you did! I know you did! I read your blog!"
Well! If I had known that what I wrote here was going to be read and believed, then I would have written about something I actually know something about. Climbing trees. Navigating European cities. Cooking little pellets of biscuits out of nothing but flour, water, sugar, salt, baking powder and maybe a little cream (by the way, I was almost late to class because I'd bought cookies from this bakery at the farmers' market and I HAD to stop by on my way to tell the woman who sold them to me that they were some of the best I'd had in my life…)
Of course, I jest. All that I say here is true, true, did happen, though it may be exaggerated a bit. But that is my wont.
We began class with a little giggle because one of us had invited this charming creature to join us. Actually, it was more of a scream of laughter, and we had the distinct feeling that he was making fun of us when he imitated all of us laughing. Did we really sound like that?
"Say something."
"Hi."
"HI?? That's the most boring thing you could say!"
"OK, fine, hallo, du möchtest, ich sage der Katze etwas?"
To my surprise, the little cat repeated this perfectly.
"It speaks German?"
"It's not an it, it's a HE!"
"Do you think we could get it to speak Czech?"
*******
Performance time is finally upon us. We grace the stage this weekend. And after that -
What will I do with this space? With what topics will I fill this now weekly column? Interviews with the geese that overrun the school (and sully the parking lot - ew, ew) every July? Cooking tips? Suggestions are welcome, though there's no guarantee they will be regarded.
So long for now, y'all. It's been real.
Friends, I HAVE A READER!
Our Choreographer strode into class this evening, kicked off her flip-flops, and announced that she was ready to re-teach us the dance.
"Because clearly you forgot all of it."
"!"
"?"
"We did not!"
"Yes you did! I know you did! I read your blog!"
Well! If I had known that what I wrote here was going to be read and believed, then I would have written about something I actually know something about. Climbing trees. Navigating European cities. Cooking little pellets of biscuits out of nothing but flour, water, sugar, salt, baking powder and maybe a little cream (by the way, I was almost late to class because I'd bought cookies from this bakery at the farmers' market and I HAD to stop by on my way to tell the woman who sold them to me that they were some of the best I'd had in my life…)
Of course, I jest. All that I say here is true, true, did happen, though it may be exaggerated a bit. But that is my wont.
We began class with a little giggle because one of us had invited this charming creature to join us. Actually, it was more of a scream of laughter, and we had the distinct feeling that he was making fun of us when he imitated all of us laughing. Did we really sound like that?
"Say something."
"Hi."
"HI?? That's the most boring thing you could say!"
"OK, fine, hallo, du möchtest, ich sage der Katze etwas?"
To my surprise, the little cat repeated this perfectly.
"It speaks German?"
"It's not an it, it's a HE!"
"Do you think we could get it to speak Czech?"
*******
Performance time is finally upon us. We grace the stage this weekend. And after that -
What will I do with this space? With what topics will I fill this now weekly column? Interviews with the geese that overrun the school (and sully the parking lot - ew, ew) every July? Cooking tips? Suggestions are welcome, though there's no guarantee they will be regarded.
So long for now, y'all. It's been real.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
hard times
Performance time approaches, and this rabble was in sore need of rousing. But it was an uphill battle much of the time. Some of us, including yours truly, were just plain late. All of us had to go to the bathroom at some time or other (but never the same time). All of us had to get drinks of water, etc etc…and one of us got caught in a rainstorm on the way over and had to duck under cover and wait for it to pass (he may or may not have heard a faith-shaking story about the extremes of humanity during this time). All in all, we had many needs, and they all had to be met, and at different times.
This made getting things together a difficult task. To make it even more difficult, our Choreographer was not there. The reluctant sous-Choreographer had to step in.
"I think you were over there, and then I was lying here, and she was dead, but she's not here so we have to pretend…"
"Did you have a horn?"
"Yeah, I had a horn, I think we all had horns..."
"Well he's Gabriel so he's got to have a horn."
"I want one of those toy horns, you know, one of those toy horns…"
"And then we defrost her with a huge hairdryer. I'll bring the hairdryer. I mean, I don't have one, but I'll make one…"
We'd thought about defrosting our nuns using some paper flames I made for another performance, but, as someone pointed out, we just wanted to defrost them, not actually cook them. After all, we didn't want Filet Mig-nun. Ba-dum-ching!
That was officially the best joke of our whole time, so far. And not, I admit, mine!
Anyway, I did my best rehearsing our dance but I think if our Choreographer does not return we will have to bring in the big guns. I suggest inviting this Guest Star.
In the meantime, I'd like to give a shout-out to Dan Goggin, wherever you are. You have a truly unique, awe-inspiring way with words. Who else could write the line "we must comply or face a fine" and have it crack me up every time?
I'd also like to give a quick salute to this ice cream - this may seem SLIGHTLY off-topic but it is what's in my freezer, after all, and I'd like you all to run out and buy it (but only when it's on sale!) because the last time I fell in love with an ice cream flavor it was all of a sudden discontinued at Wegmans and even though your correspondent visited several different stores trying to find it and then finally wrote a comment card and got a highly unsympathetic call from a heart-of-stone customer service agent who said, basically, "No one else liked it," she cannot believe that no one else liked it, they must have just forgotten to buy it for a few months and then Wegmans got the silly idea to take it off the shelves. So you see, you must not let this happen again! And with this admonishment, EAT MORE ICE CREAM, I leave you, dear friends.
This made getting things together a difficult task. To make it even more difficult, our Choreographer was not there. The reluctant sous-Choreographer had to step in.
"I think you were over there, and then I was lying here, and she was dead, but she's not here so we have to pretend…"
"Did you have a horn?"
"Yeah, I had a horn, I think we all had horns..."
"Well he's Gabriel so he's got to have a horn."
"I want one of those toy horns, you know, one of those toy horns…"
"And then we defrost her with a huge hairdryer. I'll bring the hairdryer. I mean, I don't have one, but I'll make one…"
We'd thought about defrosting our nuns using some paper flames I made for another performance, but, as someone pointed out, we just wanted to defrost them, not actually cook them. After all, we didn't want Filet Mig-nun. Ba-dum-ching!
That was officially the best joke of our whole time, so far. And not, I admit, mine!
Anyway, I did my best rehearsing our dance but I think if our Choreographer does not return we will have to bring in the big guns. I suggest inviting this Guest Star.
In the meantime, I'd like to give a shout-out to Dan Goggin, wherever you are. You have a truly unique, awe-inspiring way with words. Who else could write the line "we must comply or face a fine" and have it crack me up every time?
I'd also like to give a quick salute to this ice cream - this may seem SLIGHTLY off-topic but it is what's in my freezer, after all, and I'd like you all to run out and buy it (but only when it's on sale!) because the last time I fell in love with an ice cream flavor it was all of a sudden discontinued at Wegmans and even though your correspondent visited several different stores trying to find it and then finally wrote a comment card and got a highly unsympathetic call from a heart-of-stone customer service agent who said, basically, "No one else liked it," she cannot believe that no one else liked it, they must have just forgotten to buy it for a few months and then Wegmans got the silly idea to take it off the shelves. So you see, you must not let this happen again! And with this admonishment, EAT MORE ICE CREAM, I leave you, dear friends.
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