hard times

Performance time approaches, and this rabble was in sore need of rousing. But it was an uphill battle much of the time. Some of us, including yours truly, were just plain late. All of us had to go to the bathroom at some time or other (but never the same time). All of us had to get drinks of water, etc etc…and one of us got caught in a rainstorm on the way over and had to duck under cover and wait for it to pass (he may or may not have heard a faith-shaking story about the extremes of humanity during this time). All in all, we had many needs, and they all had to be met, and at different times.

This made getting things together a difficult task. To make it even more difficult, our Choreographer was not there. The reluctant sous-Choreographer had to step in.

"I think you were over there, and then I was lying here, and she was dead, but she's not here so we have to pretend…"
"Did you have a horn?"
"Yeah, I had a horn, I think we all had horns..."
"Well he's Gabriel so he's got to have a horn."
"I want one of those toy horns, you know, one of those toy horns…"

"And then we defrost her with a huge hairdryer. I'll bring the hairdryer. I mean, I don't have one, but I'll make one…"

We'd thought about defrosting our nuns using some paper flames I made for another performance, but, as someone pointed out, we just wanted to defrost them, not actually cook them. After all, we didn't want Filet Mig-nun. Ba-dum-ching!

That was officially the best joke of our whole time, so far. And not, I admit, mine!

Anyway, I did my best rehearsing our dance but I think if our Choreographer does not return we will have to bring in the big guns. I suggest inviting this Guest Star.

In the meantime, I'd like to give a shout-out to Dan Goggin, wherever you are. You have a truly unique, awe-inspiring way with words. Who else could write the line "we must comply or face a fine" and have it crack me up every time?

I'd also like to give a quick salute to this ice cream - this may seem SLIGHTLY off-topic but it is what's in my freezer, after all, and I'd like you all to run out and buy it (but only when it's on sale!) because the last time I fell in love with an ice cream flavor it was all of a sudden discontinued at Wegmans and even though your correspondent visited several different stores trying to find it and then finally wrote a comment card and got a highly unsympathetic call from a heart-of-stone customer service agent who said, basically, "No one else liked it," she cannot believe that no one else liked it, they must have just forgotten to buy it for a few months and then Wegmans got the silly idea to take it off the shelves. So you see, you must not let this happen again! And with this admonishment, EAT MORE ICE CREAM, I leave you, dear friends.